Close Reading, 10/13

Why a gorilla nanny is the right choice for our family.
By Jon Methven
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/why-a-gorilla-nanny-is-the-right-choice-for-our-family

            This article is a satire, describing why the narrator and his family decided to hire a gorilla in lieu of a nanny.  The author, Jon Methven, uses details, diction, and language to convince the reader that nannies are worth their price.

            First, Methven uses details to portray that nannies are something that should be carefully chosen. The narrator gives details of specific events that have happened since he has hired this gorilla nanny. He describes how the Steve the gorilla was at the Riverside dog park when Steve scared the dogs (and owners) and crated such a scene that “the game warden was called in with tranquilizer darts”. The narrator then goes on to explain that no one had anything to worry about because “gorillas are herbivorous by nature”. Later the narrator describes an unfriendly encounter Steve had with some people that were riding the escalator with him. The narrator justifies this by saying that it is part of an “innate survival code, as New Yorkers,” to not ride an escalator while a gorilla is still on it. Methven uses small details to satirize those who hire cheap nannies. He uses the gorilla to portray the ‘cheap nanny’ because, as far as the reader knows, this gorilla is free. The narrator puts up with a lot of trouble to keep Steve and even puts himself and his kids in danger – something that any sane person wouldn’t ever do when there’s an easy solution to the problem.

            Methven also uses diction to make a serious situation seem trivial or unimportant. The narrator states how one day the gorilla Steve simply “arrived” at the family’s front door. The narrator and his family quickly take Steve in and put him to work, not bothering to question where he came from. Later, the narrator mentions that sometimes other nannies are “uncomfortable” with Steve’s “nose-to-nose” greetings. Finally, the narrator asserts that he and his wife are now able to start “enjoying” the night since they are able to go out and spend the money that they’ve saved by hiring Steve. The narrator continues by saying that the reason he and his wife go out is because the gorilla “refuses” to allow the couple to see their kids until late at night, so the narrator and his wife are most often “found…waiting” by their front stoop (not actually going out and enjoying the night). Methven uses diction to under-exaggerate how oppressive this new nanny is. If the family had simply found a way to hire a legitimate nanny, they would have none of these problems.

            Similarly, Methven uses language to create a casual tone. He starts off the piece by saying: “Recently, many Upper West Side parents may have noticed we’ve…hired a 400-pound silverback gorilla for our daycare options.” Later, when describing the gorilla, the narrator says, “did you know silverback gorillas like to make ALL the decisions?” Since the tone is so casual, it is obvious that the narrator isn’t upset by this fact, but may actually be happy about the leadership Steve takes on. The narrator goes on to say that Steve can always end conflicts, either with a stare or by throwing objects across the room and adds, “but when it comes to watching our kids, we’ve never been happier.” This suggests that normally the author would agree that Steve ending conflicts in the manner that he does would normally be a bad thing, but in this case, since he is able to control the kids, it’s a wonderful skill, despite the risk of harm. Of course, there would be little to no risk of injury or abuse if the narrator had bothered to hire a real nanny.

            Methven uses language, diction, and details to portray the importance of investing time and money to hire a good nanny. The whole article is about the dangers of hiring a nanny that is inexperienced, cheap, and/or violent. Although nannies can be expensive, if both parents are working and a nanny is needed, it is best to spend the money because otherwise the children are at risk and the parents will constantly have to worry about them. This piece isn’t just about hiring a good nanny though. It’s about spending time and money on what’s important and getting priorities straight. Spend the most time and money on issues that matter, not the ones that don’t.