Open Prompt #2

2008. In a literary work, a minor character, often known as a foil, possesses traits that emphasize, by contrast or comparison, the distinctive characteristics and qualities of the main character. For example, the ideas or behavior of a minor character might be used to highlight the weaknesses or strengths of the main character. Choose a novel or play in which a minor character serves as a foil for the main character. Then write an essay in which you analyze how the relation between the minor character and the major character illuminates the meaning of the work.

Essay 3A

Overall, this was a pretty good essay. It was well written, well thought out. It has a wide range of vocabulary while still being accessible to a wide variety of readers without being overly pompous. While the student is very thorough in their explanations and analyses, I felt like at times they were being a bit of a tour guide. The beginning was a bit rocky and maybe had too much summary. I think the student realized this mid-way through the essay though and tried to fix it as best they could, because the second half of the essay is definitely much better. Even though there was summary, there was still plenty of analysis to make up for this. The student has a pretty concise conclusion, wrapping up all the main points and bringing all the analyses together, leaving the reader with a positive impression.

Essay 3B

This essay was simply ok. AP graders gave it a 6, which is probably just about the same score I’d give, if not a number lower. While the essay was clear and easy to understand, it wasn’t very well developed. It starts off with a somewhat vague intro paragraph. It talks about how the character Celie’s father abused her but how her friends helped her “find meaning in life”. The prompt is about foils, and beginning the essay in such a way makes it unclear as to whether or not Celie’s father or Celie’s friends are her foil. The rest of the essay is equally unfocused, going back and fourth between Celie’s father and her friends. The writer finally states that Celie’s father is her foil. Even though it’s good that the author finally stated a foil, I think they state it too late in the essay and wasted time/words writing about Celie’s friends. The writer also throws in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, but doesn’t really explain how it applies to the novel in enough depth. Overall, this essay could have been good but needed more development and focus.

Essay 3C
This essay wasn’t very well written. The introduction starts off with “Baba is a foil to Hassan in many ways”, but then the author only lists one such way. Then the author compares the similarities of the two characters, suggesting that the author might not actually understand the meaning of a foil. The essay was very short and simplistic with very little analysis. The student states their conclusions/opinions but gives very little to back them up. The conclusion is especially weak. The student states that the two characters are super similar and ends the paragraph and essay with: “Baba’s foil to Hassan helps show this throughout the novel.” This sentence is super ambiguous. Not only did the student not clearly explain “Baba’s foil to Hassan”, but the student also uses an ambiguous “this” and it’s unclear what they’re referring to.